Detritus
by Elphie Bubble
Summary: But now a breeze has picked up and a crumpled paper lands at your feet, as though it wants to be read...typed, faded letters across the top tell you that this is chapter seven hundred, thirty eight of The History of Oz. [oneshot]


Put Wicked the musical, Wicked the book, and The Wizard of Oz in a blender, add some random craziness and access to a laptop at 2 in the morning, and this is what you get.

**Disclaimer:** Sure, I own Wicked and the Wizard of Oz. I store 'em right by my copy of the Guttenberg Bible and my personal island. --

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_You hurry from your house and find the path of debris that shows you where the tornado went through. Ever since you were young you've been going out after every twister to see what it left behind. You pick your way through the detritus: some mismatched jigsaw puzzle pieces, a McDonald's cup, pieces of broken pottery; all the usual stuff. But now a breeze has picked up and a crumpled paper lands at your feet, as though it wants to be read. You pick it up to find that it is torn in places and slightly dirty, but you are amazed that the twister left it in one piece. Typed, faded letters across the top tell you that this is chapter seven hundred, thirty-eight of The History of Oz. Having never heard of Oz, you continue reading in slight puzzlement._

"In the eleven hundred, sixty-seventh year after the Unnamed God (be he the only god we worship and praise in good spirits, forever) spoke Oz and the first Ozians into existence, Ozma Tippetarius's rule was peacefully taken by a man arriving in a giant balloon from a land called 'Kansas,'" _the first paragraph on the paper says. You are startled at the mention of Kansas, the only thing you've recognized so far on this wrinkled page. How could you not? It _is _where you live, after all. The rest seems to be blather taken straight from a work of fiction. You read on._

"The man was hailed as a wizard, and this became his title. His reign was fruitful to Oz and brought about a reawakened surge in the Yellow Brick Road project, increased industry, and strengthened the campaign against all Undesirables.

"In the eighteenth year of his reign, the Wizard's attentions were drawn by two up-and-coming female sorcery students from Crage Hall at Shiz University. The more promising of these was Miss Elphaba Thropp, the Third Descending of the Emminent Thropps of Munchkinland. The second was (as her name was at the time) Miss Glinda Upland of the Upper Uplands of the Gillikin. The latter is now known as Glinda the Good."

_You shake your head and wonder what kind of science fiction novel this came from. You make a mental note to look up The History of Oz when you return home. You want to know who wrote it, just so you can be sure never to read anything else by the author. Nevertheless, you keep reading._

"The Wizard's plans for the two women involved roles of high leadership, under his supervision, of the areas of Oz that were too far from the Emerald City for his power to extend to fully. However, his meeting with them went awry when Miss Elphaba Thropp went beserk in the Wizard's Court and attempted physical harm on both him and Miss Glinda Upland.

"She resisted capture and fled. For several weeks after this incident she was out of the public eye until several witnesses saw her attempt to kill the Wizard's esteemed Press Secretary, Madame Eugenia Morrible. It is supposed that during this time, she lost her mind, bringing about her transformation to a terrorist striving for the dethronement of the peaceful Wizard. Although she was witnessed, she once again managed to flee authorities.

"She continued her terrorist activities for several months, flying about the countryside on an enchanted broom and torturing anyone who crossed her path. Her evil habits earned her the nickname 'The Wicked Witch of the West.' When her eventual capture seemed inevitable, she disappeared.

"For seven years the Witch was out of sight of the justice of the Emerald City, but it was rumored (and suspected to be true) that during this time she gathered up a band of rebel Undesirables, and plotted against the Wizard and his peaceful rule.

"Her hiding place was discovered to be in the Vinkus, in the castle of Kiamo Ko. A garrison of the Wizard's troops laid siege to the palace, but were rebuffed by what appeared to be the Witch's army of Undesirables (including Monkeys, monkeys, dogs, and bees)."

_You stare at the last line that you read for a moment, trying to figure out what the hell the difference was between a Monkey and a monkey, besides a capital letter._

"It was at this time that another person arrived from the land of Kansas. She was a young female (about twelve) and came to our great land by way of flying house. Her name was Dorothy Gale (later to be Saint Dorothy)."

_You remember faintly in the back of your mind that your very distant cousin had been named Dorothy, but everyone knew she had been a raving lunatic. She had run away at a young age, and when she returned home, her mind was addled and she blabbered incessantly about made up lands until her parents had finally shipped her off to an insane asylum. You think to yourself that she would probably have believed in Oz without a second thought_.

"With great bravery she set out for the Witch's lair and challenged her. It was at the Thirteenth Hour of November the Seventeenth that Dorothy Gale ended the life of the Wicked Witch of the West with water thrown from a bucket."

_You decide with a small smile that this Oz must be a very strange planet indeed if mere water kills its inhabitants. _

"Dorothy Gale of Kansas was sainted for her actions, and the Seventeenth of November is now recognized as a holiday throughout Oz (informally called Dead Witch Day). Following the Witch's death, Saint Dorothy and the Wizard departed from Oz to return to Kansas in the very same balloon that the Wizard arrived in.

"Glinda the Good (Glinda Upland's Wizard-given title) was sworn in as ruler of Oz on the Nineteenth of November, just after the Wizard and Saint Dorothy departed. Her reign came to be known as the Charmed Period, as it was of uncommon wealth and peace. Under her rule, Oz flourished and--"

_Here the paper cuts off. You turn it over to make sure there is no more, and you throw it back on the ground where you found it and walk away without a backward glance. The paper (while it is just a paper, for it lays no differently then any other paper nor exudes any exceptional qualities) is possibly one of the strangest things you have ever picked up. It is not often that one finds a piece of parchment that has traveled across worlds._


End file.
